As I attempt to preserve the well-being of my children within the confines of Family Court and a society in denial about the prevalence of sexual abuse, I am very thankful for bloggers like the one whose post is above. Parents need to be aware that the fate of their family is most often determined before they ever set foot in the courtroom. Too often parents (most often the mother) are blindsided by the rulings passed down in custodial disputes. Prior to my involvement with Family Court, I assumed custody rulings where one  parent demonstrated abusive behavior would typically rule in the favor of the protective parent. However, a simple Google search of custody rulings and abuse will be a real eye-opener.

Let's Get Honest! Blog: Absolutely Uncommon Analysis of Family & Conciliation Courts' Operations, Practices, & History

(Originally published 2/5/2013) A key issue in the courts includes sexual assault and violence towards women and children. This has also been a key issue with psychoanalysis. 

Below the introduction, most of the post is about the Stunning Validation, but I keep it current and relevant –because it is! — to the subject matter of this blog.  

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4 thoughts on “

  1. There’s no option to stay in the relationship? (i.e., safety is an issue?)

    The fields of psychology, psychiatry, psychoanalysis, behavioral health (etc.) are central to the family court — it’s their basketball court. I don’t know the way out. I do know better than to continue following around people who hang out with and speak the same language as those fields and believe that somehow this is going to influence the power structure.

    The power structure is economic, and that’s probably the engine driving it. It’s an extension of an abusive paradigm (as he says, above), but it’s all-pervasive in this country, and was developed over many decades.

    Our government was privatized through nonprofit trade associations funded by foundations, whose wealth is in corporation, and definitely influences government. Government is a type of corporation (the USA for sure is) and keep in mind that the goal is selling programs to justify increased taxation (of every one) and solving social ills.

    Right now, it’s very dangerous for mothers (single, or married, I believe). All I can say is, don’t let a lot of grass grow under your feet, and choose friends (and associates) wisely.

    I cannot research the entire USA, or a state by county, and name names. I have named major nonprofit associations with an agenda, and how they collaborate (for example, AFCC has collaborated with CRC, NCSC, CPR, PSI — nice list of acronymns, right?). They work through grants from governments and private funding.

    The one thing anyone can do is obtain the local CAFR (see my site, links) of their jurisdiction and look at the money; locate the v arious names of “funds” set up related to their courts (or to child support, etc.) and probably get lists of who’s contracting what in the area. That said, I didn’t succeed in turning around my own case because I didn’t get the information til VERY elate in the game, and I really don’t know many mothers who have leveraged it to make a difference — possibly because most mothers seem absorbed with getting their story on Lawless America and/or contributing to any group that will publicize it.

    As you sound like a smart, literate person, see what you find. I’m about to post a list of funds for California, if that’s an example. They exist in various states and counties.

    Best I can think of is to reach the general public and explain to them that they shouldn’t be funding these programs; i.e., talk in terms of THEIR interest, not in OURS.

    Explain how, where, and why they have been defrauded in the matter of welfare, and request this be slowed down. I don’t know, but that would seem logical. (It may not be practical).

  2. I believe that whenever we have a need, we look for people who may help us. This is true for all of life endeavors. If I need to remodel my home, I’m going to look for a contractor. To fix my shoe, I’d look for a shoemaker. Some contractors and shoemakers are skillful and honest, others do shoddy work and lie. When it comes to family matters and courts the same hold true. Some judges, psychologists and lawyers are horrible and some are exemplary. To look at the whole profession as flawed, would be to say that every priest is a molester.

    • Believe is free; talk is cheap, but wisdom and logic are learned.

      The professional mindset is exactly what certain kinds of professionals count on. I came from a profession where you had regular “audits” caused performances — and if the people I was responsible for couldn’t do it, no more referrals. However, this family (and Conciliation, let’s point out) system feeds on public funding (federal grants), private payment (parents) and sometimes insurance billings (Medicaid, etc.) as well — AND it mandates services; it can coerce a traumatized mother into forking over all she has in order to see her own child, that she raised — and is doing so. If you, trusting the professionaal community throughout and hoping for the luck of the draw, or that those licensing boards are doing their jobs right, let me ask — if your physical life was at stake (I’m not talking surgeon, I’m talking judges, psychologists, etc.) or you ability to support yourseelf independently, were at stake — how casual would you be about “take it on faith, most professionals are good?”

      What about artificially created professions?

      I’m not saying this as an undegreed person; I have two degrees and HAD a profession, clients, and a healthy relationship with the local community. I live in this day and time, but was driven out of my profession and overnight lost children I was taking good care of, as it turns out, based on the sheer existence of a type of court, and its ability to consolidate resources from federal welfare policies directed against single mothers specifically, and those who’d actually reported and exited violent relationships. This act of violence like the prior ones in the home, was known and tolerated by all sorts of communities (religious, police, family, general).
      ~ ~

      ~ ~
      The same system reclassifies violence as something to be “treated” at the family level (cf. Freud’s exclusion by his professional community when he reported sexual assaults in their childhood, often by a father or relative) as source of mental health issues. This same type of violence, and its coverup by psychologists and psychiatrists, is going on today under cover of “family.”
      ~ ~ ~
      Some of us (mothers) have taken to investigative reporting of the underpinnings of the system (not just individuals), including the profit motive — with an intent to stop the coverup of child-rape, child-stealing, extortion, and all those ugly words, which are happening because, to tell the truth, our parents’ generation didn’t pay close enough attention to the system setup. Then again, the internet really didn’t take off for the public til ca. the 1980s.

      http://communities.washingtontimes.com/neighborhood/heart-without-compromise-children-and-children-wit/2013/mar/1/immunity-guardian-ad-litem-destroys-connecticut-fa/

      Come on down and play with journalists and bloggers who post evidence and think in detail; the water’s warm. If the world is fine except for a few bad-eggs in certain courtrooms, then have a nice day. If you would like to see some significant changes, for example, having crimes actually be treated as bad, and a society that has a coherent (versus incoherent) definition of “right” v. “wrong” when it comes to these things I’m sure you don’t want to say you endorse, then it’s time to unseat most of the behavioral health regime, in my opinion. It appears that our country is trafficking both children and drugs. There IS documentation of that — so, are you for, against, or on the fence, or participating directly a profession, or indirectly through a paycheck? (rhetorical question).

  3. What would you do in the morning of the principal question of the day was “where are my kids” (and they were minors, or young adults last seen in the care of some very, ah, abusive adults with a financial interest in keeping them from contacting you?). Or does that only happen to people who can’t manage their own “relationships” well and hence, must be their own fault, or a professional’s problem.

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